Good morning my dear reader and may I wish you a very happy Pentecost Day. We are home again after a short break away and it's lovely to be in your company again. The weather was atrocious but the accommodation and food were excellent - so lovely to have someone else do the cooking. As you know, Spouse is not allowed in the kitchen, a bull in a china shop is less dangerous. But there again, I keep out of his shed, which I confess, I am happy to do - just the sight of all those huge and dangerous looking electric saws gives me the heebie jeebies, so we are both happy. The weather is still pretty ropey. My garden is looking very sodden and like me, hanging in there and waiting for the sunny days to arrive.
During the week a few old memories came to the fore which cause us great merriment. One such is worth sharing I think. When we were out walking on one of the drier days we passed a house built very much in the French country style. This prompted a few memories of our time in France.
Now, you would never imagine Spouse as a bit of a lothario would you? But ... do not be deceived, dear reader. Once at a very jolly soiree, Spouse fell into converse with a very attractive and buxom lady. I, at some distance across a crowded room, could see much animated flirting going on - she, looking up at him, all heaving bosom and fluttering eyelashes and he, quite entranced by her but trying not to stare down her cleavage too much. Our hostess drifted across to me and suggested that maybe I should go and rescue him. 'Doesn't look like he needs rescuing to me,' says I. 'far from it, he's having a whale of a time.'
'She's renowned,' said my hostess. 'Now she's found her man, she'll whisk him off - she know all the quiet places here - he won't stand a chance. She eats men for dinner and spits them out for breakfast.' 'Well, he's a big man,' says I. ' And he's had his dinner so we'll see how far she gets.'
Ha ha, my dear reader. The good lady must have made her move, edging Spouse towards the door. I could see the moment the penny dropped with him as to what her amorous intentions really were. He rapidly backed off and edged his way around the room - to stand behind me! 'Bit too rich, was she?' I asked. 'She's a maneater!' says Spouse. 'I'd never get out alive.' Well, of course, dear reader, I thought it was all hilarious and told him he'd got his just desserts.
For the rest of the evening Spouse was as a limpet clinging to a rock. We might as well have been joined at the hip. Much to his chagrin, the buxom lady occasionally looked across the room to him, smiling a knowing smile as Spouse blushed and pressed even closer to me.
It was quite a while before Spouse recovered himself and was ready to venture out socially again. Before we set out from home to our next soiree, I mischeviously said, 'I just hope Madame X is not there again.' That made the colour drain from Spouse's face. Naughty of me. I knew she wouldn't be there, but a little reminder did no harm.
Meanwhile, dear reader, back to the present day in North Yorkshire and life is a little more mundane. Not a buxom wench in sight only an enormous tree stump that is slap bang in the middle of the ground where my new shed will be - I hope and so the stump has to go. Unfortunately, with the heavy rains the site is sodden and muddy and Spouse is having a tough time of it. Weather permitting he will persevere with the task this week and I shall speak nicely to him as he wields his massive axe at the stump!
Take care, dear reader and have a good week. I am back to barrowing new gravel on the drive again. Much more of this and I will be putting out the deckchairs and pretending I'm on Brighton beach! See you next week - the mad axeman of Yorkshire permitting.